Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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