after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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