There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same