theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.