I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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