I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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