Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
