I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
