I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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