Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
