Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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