You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
