wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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