Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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