Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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