Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
