It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
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Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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