What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
