The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
