I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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