We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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