She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
