I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
