I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
