I wanna bring you to show and tell
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
