he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
