at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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