it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
