She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
