Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
