I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
