she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
