my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
