It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
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I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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