pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I want is dick and wine.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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