He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
