I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
