I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
