Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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