well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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