So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
