let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize