Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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