how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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