this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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