Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/s17l
  Replies (11) Good night (5694) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7674) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid http://tfl.nu/u0xl
  Replies (18) Good night (3347) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2728) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle http://tfl.nu/jmfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1432) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment. http://tfl.nu/2sfo
  Replies (7) Good night (1859) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it. http://tfl.nu/irby
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (2870)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b
  Replies (19) Good night (521) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (413) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/i9rc
  Replies (5) Good night (464) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up! http://tfl.nu/45jw
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner http://tfl.nu/bpq7
  Replies (6) Good night (274) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before? http://tfl.nu/zugc
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma http://tfl.nu/tujv
  Replies (1) Good night (176) Bad night (313)

Randomize