we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
