so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
