Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
