I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
