that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
