There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize