This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
