Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
