Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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