i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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