with your own penis?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
