Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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