i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
