Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
