im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
