I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
