did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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