hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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