We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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