I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
